Sunday, November 26, 2017

Somebody Loves You When You're 32: Hint: It's You

It's my birthday.

I'm not hopping around twerking, saying, "Ay!" In fact, I'm just sitting here looking at my dirty room and going "Eh."  I sort of did something special last night: a few friends and I went to a bar, but one  by one they started to peel off from being tired, we didn't even make it till 1 am. I wasn't mad. I just recognized that none of us are the people we once were.  The energy level, the liver capacity, and the ability to withstand smelling pee and body odor for long periods of time is gone.

And I'm 32.  Not old, not super young but just at that point where I'm like "Ok, it is nice to see another year, but it's also another day."  I thought I wanted a full on celebration, so I tried to plan it and everyone was like "Sorry I can't come," "Sorry I have my kids," (and I'm thinking what are those?).  I also for some reason thought I'd actually have a man for my 32nd, an apartment, and I'd be super glamorous.

Yes I am laughing too!

As frustrating as it was to not have this imaginary, fully festive,birthday, I am happy that I can always find the small things be grateful for.  I had some friends who tried to hang which means people like me, I have health and strength, I had clean clothes.  And I realized I'm hella old to expect a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese (though if someone suggested it, and planned it I would have been on board because the pizza is to die for).  I didn't get many gifts, which was not a big deal at all because I realized I've been getting big and great gifts all this year:

A sense of self: I actually know who I am and what I am capable of.
A sense of confidence: Over the last year, I have learned that I can hold my own even in crowded rooms and that there's nothing to be afraid of.
A sense of beauty: I have like 7 beauty marks on my body, freckles, I'm thick in the hips, and have skin the color of coffee with
a dash of cream.  And I have a killer smile with a personality...er um...killer as in nice, to match!
A sense of accomplishment: I'm a black woman with 2 degrees and a decent job. I'm smart and doing it!

And the most important thing of all: A strong family foundation that has pushed me do better and know all of the aforementioned things.  Did I also mention that God created me and is responsible for all of that? Yeah HE is!

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that birthdays are great and what you make them.  The important thing is that you recognize all the gifts you have been given year round and the progress you've made each year.  You don't need a party to do that.  You just need to do it!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Sunday, November 12, 2017

Career Change...and everything

So here I am behind on posting again...but I have a good excuse!

I recently was promoted at my day job to position where I am actually using my degree. I am so excited because I have been waiting to find something that fits with all them humanities degrees I have, and I never thought it would happen in my hometown.  However, with a new job of course comes tons of new responsibilities, and lots of brain power usage...so much so, that I have kinda taken a back seat on my blog(s).  But here I am making an attempt!

Anyways...

I said all that to say that over the course of all the changes that are happening, I have been slightly self reflecting (even more so than usual), about the course of my life, how I want to live, what I want to exude, and confidence.  Before taking this job, I was kinda sloshing through life. I noticed I wasn't taking care of myself like I should: I wasn't taking time to even match my clothes, do much with my hair, eating right (and I should because I am a fitness instructor part time). I also was quiet, often times afraid to speak my ideas in meetings and in public for fear of being shot down, and part of that was due to some previous experiences I have had.  However, being tasked with new responsibilities that sometimes has me sit down with corporate officers, I've kinda had to change all that. I can no longer be sloshing through, wrinkly, quiet and meek, because my job has a lot to do with speaking and changing things.

A career change, can signal that a lot of things could use a change. Here are some things I've been doing.

It may seem like some small feat to everyone else, but one my biggest confidence game changers has been wearing makeup. I've always had some in my arsenal and used to sell Mary Kay (unsuccessfully ) but I didn't wear it often. Now in a position as some what of leader, I try to make it a point to get up early enough to do a nice and natural look. Even if I don't wear lipstick, I make sure I have shadow or eyeliner on and I stick with my power and comfort colors which are gold and purple.  For lips, I usually will do a a pink or red, the latter being my fave.  When I feel pretty, I have little bit more pep in my step.

Another thing I do now is try to coordinate my outfits on laundry day. As soon as those close are fresh out the dryer, I take my hangers and get to work mixing and matching. A lot of people think they have to go out and buy a completely new wardrobe but that really isn't necessary. The key to looking put together is just to put together stuff already in your closet. Sometimes I will even look on fashion blogs, or google "professional clothes" to see if I already have something similar and then I roll with it. One of the keys to living like a bawse, is to feel comfortable ( noticing a pattern here?).

As far as hair goes, I've learned how to do crochet braids, which have been a lifesaver for me. I no longer have to pay salon prices or wait for an appointment. Also, when you're doing A lot, it's nice to have a functional, protective style.

Finances have been hard for me, but I've been finding apps like Qqapital to be helpful in staying on top of them. I also have developed a budget plan that will help me see my dreams come true faster and eliminate some of this unwanted debt!

To stay on top of my priorities, I've succumbed to using a planner and my phone calendar. I say succumbed because I am not the most organized person and have always had trouble using planners. Well...I guess I should say that I didn't like using them. But now, I have to because much of my work relies on project and strategic management. It's not so bad once you get into the routine. For me, the calendar has become a life line. When your boss asks where you're at with a certain project, it's good to have a reference point, especially if you're working on several things at once.

I've also been making sure that I get out there. I go to networking events, parties when I'm invited. Before, I'd hang in the background or just flat out wouldn't show up. Nowadays I'm operating by a "closed mouths don't get fed" attitude as I'm learning that the only way to get ahead is to make sure people know who you are.

All these changes, whether big or small, are helping me to feel more confident in life and where I'm going. Sometimes, you just have to sit back and take stock of where you are and where you want to be. You don't have to wait for a career change to do that, or any change. You just have to... change.